Welcome back to Parent Fantasy Land.
ICYMI, last week I published an essay about things parents wish were true about school, but aren’t.
(Like thinking all kids should be intrinsically motivated, reading Shakespeare for fun, and avoiding screens like the plague. Sounds great, but unfortunately, that’s just not reality.)
My goal isn’t to shame parents, only to invite them to open their eyes a bit wider. To see school as it actually is, not as the highlight reel we’ve stitched together from surviving the system. “Surviving” isn’t a necessary rite of passage for our kids. It’s okay to want more for them.
So, let’s keep going.
Here are four more things parents wish were true about school…but aren’t.
1. “The MORE socialization, the better.”
You’d be amazed at how common this one is:
“My kid goes to a big school and gets to interact with so many other kids. That’s good for them. Socialization in big groups is best.”
But real socialization has nothing to do with how many peers your kid passes in the hallway. Does your kid know how to connect with others? Communicate clearly? Read social cues? Build meaningful relationships? Navigate awkward conversations?
That’s real socialization.
I know plenty of parents who are terrified to send their kid to a “small” or “alternative” school because of “less socialization.” But I’d encourage you to think deeper here.
What’s more harmful: dumping middle schoolers into a crowded cafeteria with nothing more than a “Good luck figuring it out,” or connecting them in smaller environments so they can develop actual social skills?
Smaller groups don’t limit socialization. Often, they deepen it.
Just think: in traditional schools, kids are often surrounded by hundreds or thousands of peers, yet still feel deeply lonely. That’s because a crowd doesn’t guarantee connection. In fact, these massive, unstructured social environments can magnify social anxiety. When kids don’t have the right social skills and tools, they fall back on comparison and cliques.
But when kids are known, seen, and given space to engage meaningfully, that’s when they learn how to build real relationships.
I’m sure you’ve seen this in action: that one friend who goes radio-silent at large parties, but becomes the most engaging person you know over a one-on-one coffee chat. Smaller groups often provide more space for connection.
The same happens for young kids, and this is especially important as they’re learning to navigate complex social dynamics.
I’m not saying large group socialization is “bad.” But it definitely isn’t “better.” Because what matters is the quality of the socialization, not the quantity.
2. “Traditional schools ALREADY TEACH kids how to socialize.”
This is a sister-belief to the one above. Many parents assume their kid will soak up social skills from other kids like osmosis.
But proximity is not the same as instruction.
There is no explicit socialization teaching, coaching, or feedback in traditional schools. They simply group kids by age, seat them in rows, and then expect them to navigate incredibly complex dynamics on their own.
It is, quite literally, sink-or-swim.
Most of us don’t look back on our school’s social experience and think, “Wow, I was really guided through that beautifully!” We remember awkwardness, exclusion, feeling uncomfortable in our own skin, climbing the social ladder, or “learning the hard way.”
At Alpha, we’re actively rewriting this narrative. Instead of waiting for social skills to magically manifest in our students like a Harry Potter spell, we teach them. Simple.
We teach them how to be interesting. How to be interested in others. How to engage in conversation. How to read body language. Socialization is a skill, and yes, skills can be taught!
Instead of throwing them to the wolves, let’s give kids the tools they need so they can connect with anyone, anytime, anywhere.
3. “Kids need to be coached into the ‘CORRECT’ passions.”
Parents often believe they know what their child should be learning or caring about.
“My kid needs to study coding.”
“They should be focused on chess.”
“My kids should prioritize STEM, not art.”
Or it happens on the flip side: parents force kids to give up hobbies because they don’t see a future in them.
“My son is obsessed with Minecraft, but I limit it to 30 minutes a week.”
“My daughter wants to make YouTube videos, but that’s not a real skill.”
“My daughter is really into fashion, but that’s not going to get her into a good college.”
The problem is that parents frequently project their own dreams and anxieties onto their kids. And by default, this steers kids away from the things that actually motivate them.
Trust me, I get it. It’s ingrained in our parent-DNA to say things like: “You wouldn’t like that as a career,” or, “You’re never going to be able to use that,” or, “What you really need to learn is….”
But how do we know?
Maybe your daughter genuinely is the next Taylor Swift. Maybe your son really will be the next MrBeast.
The truth is that kids learn best when they’re allowed to go down paths they’re genuinely excited about. Don’t make your kid become a doctor if they want to be an opera singer. Or an entrepreneur. Or a designer. Or something you’ve never even heard of yet.
Look at it like this. Your son isn’t a walking red flag because he loves video games. In fact, video games can be the gateway exposure to coding, software development, and game design — skills that are very much relevant in today’s world. Your daughter’s obsession with fashion could lead to merchandising, design, or building her own brand.
As a parent, you can help your kid channel “childish” or “useless” passions into concrete life skills that will certainly serve them in the future.
So, try giving your kid more freedom to develop their own God-given talents and passions. They’re going to be different from our own, and that’s perfectly okay.
4. “If Alpha School is so amazing, it should be FREE.”
I hear this one constantly:
“If Alpha really is the best school model, why don’t you make it free so everyone can access it?”
I get the sentiment of this parent fantasy. Honestly, I do. But I am not the U.S. government. I am not sitting on unlimited taxpayer funds. I’m a mom who wanted something better for my kids and decided to build it.
If I could, would I wave a wand and make Alpha free for everyone?
Of course I would.
Unfortunately, that’s just not how the world works. I think parents know this deep down. But they cling to the fantasy anyway.
What’s even more important is that Alpha is redefining what parents expect from their private school experience.
For instance, public schools already spend a lot more per student than most parents realize. The national average is now over $17,000 per child per year. In high-spending states like New York, it exceeds $29,000 per student. And in places like Los Angeles, when you factor in administrative and facilities costs, it ranges from $27,000 to $45,000 per student.
At Alpha, tuition pays for very real things:
Our guides are compensated well (starting at $100,000 a year)
Our personalized AI learning platform costs roughly $10,000 per student per year
And our life skills workshops are costly, too: the travel, the real-world projects, and the experiences that go far beyond worksheets and lectures. (As a private model, this is something I decided to put a lot of resources into.)
As an Alpha parent, you know without a doubt: the money you spend on tuition is intentionally working in visible ways that positively impact your child.
And what about creating more private school options at a lower price point?
Now, that I am doing. We have schools as low as $15,000 a year and virtual programs for $10,000, and with vouchers in Texas, that could bring this model of education down to $0–$300 per month.
It’s time to leave “Parent Fantasy Land” for good
If we let go of the fantasies and face reality with honesty and courage, we open the door to something far better: a school experience that actually prepares kids for life as it is, not as we remember it.
And that’s a future worth choosing.
As a K-12 education professional, I think your comments about socialization are quite good.
I would add something else: in K-12 students there is a VERY strong desire to be liked by their peers. This increases with high school. What often happens is that kids trying to be liked will do things that they would not ordinarily do (bully, drugs, sex, etc.) based on group conformity.
My intuition says that there will be fewer harmful cliques in Alpha schools, compared to many public schools. Further, as Alpha schools emphasize Critical Thinking more, that will be yet another major roadblock to bad habits that is not common in public schools.